ok im officially mad lah. its almost 1 and i have exam tml haha... btu i slept in the afternoon for... erm the WHOLE AFTERNOON. 12-6 ok. wahlao. nvm haha. i think zy is amazed at what a pig i am... my bio option is going to suffer for my sloth.
argh its so hard to keep being angry with him cos like he hasnt annoyed me in a while but i just have to keep telling myself tt if i do become friends with him again he is going to do what he has done so many times and irritate me again.i shld never have gotten attached in the first place ok. WASNT WORTH IT. at least i think not haha cant remeber the good times anymore. only the crap
anyway heard some. well. good (to me) news today haha... its qt evil tt i think its good news but yah. i do i mean i never really liked him much anyway and i think he was changing you too much i dunno maybe we can be close friends again :)
anyway im still on the book and just well i dunno... there was one part that was saying that its unhealthy to not have good same sex friends as in like a grp tt one is really close to... and it was saying tt if u do not have it its not cos ur nature is just like more inclined to the opposite sex and stuff but because of insecurity or like u feel tt the opp sex gives u more attention. i dunno man... i guess i did think tt i am just naturally closer to guys and liek tt its easier for me to talk to them cos my mentality is more guy than girl... but God made me a girl rite... and im sure He did it for a reason... but i guess maybe sometimes being with like a big grp of guys does make me feel special like im the only girl there and stuff? but i think i dunno... when i make friends i will tend to make friends with guys rather than girls... as in when i pursue friendships and stuff... last yr was ok but this yr its worse... and i think maybe its like. i know i wun be soooooo close to guys as i am to girls as in like can spend alot of time with them but not neccassarily like talk alot or share alot just like crap and stuff so its less likely for me to get hurt by them? as in. i dunno maybe cos girls have always seemed to pick each other to be thier close friends other than me and i guess it does hurt if i really treasure them alot so maybe tts y i dun... its a combination of factors i think and i dunno how to get out... when i go uni i will TRY to mix more with girls haha. and the book wasalso saying tt friendships and relationships with people are always second to a relationship with God and that times tt we feel the most lonely are the times that we shld turn to God the most and i guess i haven really been doing that but rather i have been revelling in my own lonliness and like indulging in self pity instead. the author was also like saying that thinking too much of romance is bad and yah! im like him haha... im more in love with the idea of being in love than actually being in a committed relationship.. its like. seems so boring and predictable after a while. and i know its bad to feel this way lah cos God made us with the intention of us getting married (if we do) not falling in love. he said something qt interesting abt "falling in love" too... he was saying tt we use the word "falling" because we dont want to take responsibility for our feelings and actions... like we just say its not our fault that we have to go into this relationship now because we have "fallen" in love when actually it was an active choice that was made. i dunno. not very applicable to my life but interesting nevertheless haha.
i tried to ask xiang abt it but she din want to tell me... hiahz. i dunno man... these girls are like growing up too fast!!! haha when me and lijia talked to jac she was saying tt its hard to like talk to us sometimes cos we are frm different generation and i was like thinking "no im not!!! im only like 5 yrs older than u!" but i guess shes right haha... i dun understand them sometimes and its so easy to say tt the reason is cos they frm co-ed sch or like neighbourhood sch and im not so like we grew up with different kinds of people arnd us (no offense to neighbourhood sch pple... but its true!!) and like i geuss they are MUCH more comfortable with guys than i was at tt age... i dun really want to remeber myself at tt age haha... still remeber how i taught deb and bin how to play mercy in sec 1 and like how i was still qt prone to whacking pple up...see! mg did teach me how to be more girly. and it also taught me how important appearances are and how image is how the world judges people. not exactly what the school wanted to teach (other than like eng, maths etc duh) but well i guess its reality rite? sometimes i wish i could hide away like what marcus wants to do but i think i would be so ashamed of myself when i do... its like so. i dunno im safe with God and people are out there dying and going to hell but i dont care cos i am safe. and i would really be very ashamed if i were judged and found to have that mentality.
ok long post and growth and repro calls. phys was ok i guess and so was chem heh. hope i can do ok? i dunno. cant wait till prelims are over!!!
argh its so hard to keep being angry with him cos like he hasnt annoyed me in a while but i just have to keep telling myself tt if i do become friends with him again he is going to do what he has done so many times and irritate me again.i shld never have gotten attached in the first place ok. WASNT WORTH IT. at least i think not haha cant remeber the good times anymore. only the crap
anyway heard some. well. good (to me) news today haha... its qt evil tt i think its good news but yah. i do i mean i never really liked him much anyway and i think he was changing you too much i dunno maybe we can be close friends again :)
anyway im still on the book and just well i dunno... there was one part that was saying that its unhealthy to not have good same sex friends as in like a grp tt one is really close to... and it was saying tt if u do not have it its not cos ur nature is just like more inclined to the opposite sex and stuff but because of insecurity or like u feel tt the opp sex gives u more attention. i dunno man... i guess i did think tt i am just naturally closer to guys and liek tt its easier for me to talk to them cos my mentality is more guy than girl... but God made me a girl rite... and im sure He did it for a reason... but i guess maybe sometimes being with like a big grp of guys does make me feel special like im the only girl there and stuff? but i think i dunno... when i make friends i will tend to make friends with guys rather than girls... as in when i pursue friendships and stuff... last yr was ok but this yr its worse... and i think maybe its like. i know i wun be soooooo close to guys as i am to girls as in like can spend alot of time with them but not neccassarily like talk alot or share alot just like crap and stuff so its less likely for me to get hurt by them? as in. i dunno maybe cos girls have always seemed to pick each other to be thier close friends other than me and i guess it does hurt if i really treasure them alot so maybe tts y i dun... its a combination of factors i think and i dunno how to get out... when i go uni i will TRY to mix more with girls haha. and the book wasalso saying tt friendships and relationships with people are always second to a relationship with God and that times tt we feel the most lonely are the times that we shld turn to God the most and i guess i haven really been doing that but rather i have been revelling in my own lonliness and like indulging in self pity instead. the author was also like saying that thinking too much of romance is bad and yah! im like him haha... im more in love with the idea of being in love than actually being in a committed relationship.. its like. seems so boring and predictable after a while. and i know its bad to feel this way lah cos God made us with the intention of us getting married (if we do) not falling in love. he said something qt interesting abt "falling in love" too... he was saying tt we use the word "falling" because we dont want to take responsibility for our feelings and actions... like we just say its not our fault that we have to go into this relationship now because we have "fallen" in love when actually it was an active choice that was made. i dunno. not very applicable to my life but interesting nevertheless haha.
i tried to ask xiang abt it but she din want to tell me... hiahz. i dunno man... these girls are like growing up too fast!!! haha when me and lijia talked to jac she was saying tt its hard to like talk to us sometimes cos we are frm different generation and i was like thinking "no im not!!! im only like 5 yrs older than u!" but i guess shes right haha... i dun understand them sometimes and its so easy to say tt the reason is cos they frm co-ed sch or like neighbourhood sch and im not so like we grew up with different kinds of people arnd us (no offense to neighbourhood sch pple... but its true!!) and like i geuss they are MUCH more comfortable with guys than i was at tt age... i dun really want to remeber myself at tt age haha... still remeber how i taught deb and bin how to play mercy in sec 1 and like how i was still qt prone to whacking pple up...see! mg did teach me how to be more girly. and it also taught me how important appearances are and how image is how the world judges people. not exactly what the school wanted to teach (other than like eng, maths etc duh) but well i guess its reality rite? sometimes i wish i could hide away like what marcus wants to do but i think i would be so ashamed of myself when i do... its like so. i dunno im safe with God and people are out there dying and going to hell but i dont care cos i am safe. and i would really be very ashamed if i were judged and found to have that mentality.
ok long post and growth and repro calls. phys was ok i guess and so was chem heh. hope i can do ok? i dunno. cant wait till prelims are over!!!
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